


a storm is coming in (is it all we've ever been)

by multifanfics



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Werewolf, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Minor Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Minor Octavia Blake/Lincoln, References to Teen Wolf (TV), roommates-ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-19 07:17:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20653298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multifanfics/pseuds/multifanfics
Summary: John Murphy was bitten by a werewolf. Raven Reyes is a little lost on how she's supposed to act now that her best friend is a supernatural creature.





	a storm is coming in (is it all we've ever been)

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from novo amor's "anchor"
> 
> also this is unedited, so i apologize for any mistakes. hope you enjoy the read <#

When John Murphy was fifteen, he got punched in the face for the first time.

When Raven Reyes was fifteen, she punched someone in the face for the first time.

Naturally, after that, they kept mercilessly teasing each other and trying to put the other down until Murphy punched a guy in the hallway because he was talking shit about Raven’s brace, and Raven decided he wasn’t that bad of a person.

And so they became friends, and it lasted during some of the hardest moments of their lives, like when Finn Collins cheated on Raven with Clarke, a girl from the neighboring school (who ultimately became Raven’s favorite girl after they’d gotten past the initial awkwardness of having slept with the same guy) or Murphy’s mom finally decided to kick the bucket. 

It wasn’t the sort of friendship that fizzled out after they graduated from high school because they’d decided to attend the same college, Raven majoring in mechanical engineering and Murphy in business.

Their first year of college was nice, mostly because they partied a lot. Raven’s roommate Octavia had an older brother who always made sure that she didn’t get into too much trouble, and Bellamy’s mothering extended to Raven and Murphy, which meant they always had someone to drive them back to the dorms and keep water and Advil close to them for when they woke up hungover.

And then halfway through the year, Murphy met Emori, a bartender at Grounders, the bar they spent most of their time at with Bellamy. It was like love at first sight – though Raven would snarkily say that Emori probably fell in love with Murphy’s ass. 

“You’re just jealous because Shaw doesn’t give you the time of day,” Murphy retorted, referring to the junior Raven had met a few weeks back, whom she may or may not have been crushing on.

“Dickhead,” Raven grumbled, lobbing the couch pillow at Murphy. He laughed and sat down at the other end of the couch, stretching her legs over his lap and gently massaging her bad knee. 

(He knew she didn’t feel it. He still did it anyway.)

So really, they were good friends. The best, even. Which was why Raven was the first person Murphy told when he got bitten by a wolf on their first night back from the summer for their second year of college. 

“And it _healed _all by itself,” Murphy said. He lifted his shirt to show Raven his side. There had been angry puncture marks yesterday, but those had faded into a slight redness of the skin. “See?”

Raven sighed. “Murphy, there are no wolves in California. It was probably a dog.” 

“I’m telling you it was definitely a wolf.”

Raven was spared from answering by the door to her dorm opening, Octavia storming in with her features contorted into a murderous glare, ranting about how big brothers were the bane of existence, and that was the end of their conversation about what had bit Murphy.

At least until the following week, when Murphy called Raven at five in the morning and said, “I think I’m a fucking werewolf.”

“Were you drinking last night, Murphy?”

“What? No.” 

“Yes, you were, you were out with Emori,” Raven recalled. “Are you at her place or back in your dorm?” 

“I’m naked in the goddamn forest behind the school, Reyes,” Murphy spat, and Raven could tell that he was seriously pissed off now. “I don’t know where my clothes are or where the fuck I was all last night. And it’s freezing out here. I think my dick is going to fall off.” 

It was still dark out. Grumbling, Raven pushed her blankets off and got up, grabbing her brace and making quick work of buckling it over her leggings. She pulled her winter coat on and shoved her feet into her Ugg boots before grabbing sweatpants and one of the many t-shirts she’d ‘borrowed’ from Murphy. “You so owe me for this.”

“Get here,” he said dryly before he hung up.

Raven trudged her way into the forest, rubbing her eyes to get the sleep out of them. If this were anyone other than Murphy, she would kill them for even thinking of waking her up three hours before her first class, but as it happened, it was the one person she couldn’t say no to.

“Oh, wow, you really are naked,” she said when she found him, sprawled on his stomach with his head pillowed on his arms. He looked up when he saw her, snatching the clothes off her arm and putting them on as quick as possible. “You’re welcome.”

Murphy rolled his eyes. “We both know you’re here to make fun of me somehow ending up naked in a forest.” 

“Well, yes,” Raven admitted, not the very bit sheepish, “but also because I’m curious about what’s going on.”

“You mean you’re worried.”

“I absolutely don’t.”

Murphy grinned wryly. “If it makes you feel any better, I’m worried too. I mean, I am the one who might have been bitten by a supernatural creature.”

“Oh, come on.” Ungracefully, Raven lowered herself onto the ground to sit next to Murphy. She bumped her shoulder against his. “Is Emori really letting you walk around with the idea that werewolves are real in your head?”

“Emori doesn’t really know,” Murphy said, rubbing the back of his neck. “You’re the only one who I’ve told.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. We are best friends, after all.”

“You’re not my best friend." 

“Really? Then who is?”

Raven was silent for a moment before she let out a small grunt. “Anyway. We can still Google what’s going on with you and see if you’re transforming or just generally crazy.” She couldn’t believe she was saying those words.

Murphy snorted. “Thank you very much for your concern. You’re making me feel really loved.” He looked up at the sky, which was just starting to lighten. “Lay down." 

“Why?” 

“The sun’s about to rise,” Murphy said, falling onto his back and looking up at the sky. Raven shook her head and let out a disbelieving laugh.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you woke me up this early just so we could watch the sunrise.”

“Shut up, Reyes,” he said, and she laid on her back with her head on his outstretched arm, watching the dark sky slowly melt into a light blue.

When she got back to her dorm half an hour before her first class was, she pulled out her phone to look up this month’s lunar cycle. Last night had been a full moon.

“Hey, O,” she said, shaking her roommate awake. “Do you believe in werewolves?”

“I’m so not awake enough to even think of answering this question,” Octavia grumbled, burying her face deeper in her pillow. “Ask Bell.” 

That evening, when Octavia interrupted Murphy’s study time on Raven’s bed, he actually _growled _at her, which made both girls look at him with unmasked confusion.

“Okay, then, I’ll leave you alone,” Octavia said, though she didn’t, instead plopping down on Raven’s bed, laying across the length of it. Murphy, annoyed, rolled his eyes, and Raven saw that they glowed _gold_.

“Murphy!” she exclaimed, her eyes widening. 

“Yeah?” He looked at her, but his eyes were bright blue, not a hint of gold in them. She let out the breath she’d been holding, muttering a, “Never mind” before she went back to the model she was building on the floor. 

When Murphy left and Octavia went to sleep, Raven called Clarke, anxiously biting on her thumb.

“Raven? What’s wrong, isn’t it pretty late in California?” Clarke asked, automatically worried.

“Yeah, it is, but I just had to ask you something,” Raven replied. 

“Sure.” 

“Is it possible for someone’s eye color to just… change? Like one second it’s blue, for example, and the next it’s gold?” Clarke was quiet for a few moments, so Raven added, “I figured since you’re a med student you’d probably have an idea about these kinds of things.”

“It can’t happen, Raven,” Clarke finally said. “Maybe it was just a trick of the light?” 

“Yeah, probably,” Raven said, though she wasn’t really convinced of it. “So. How’s New York?”

Raven tried to put the thought that Murphy might be a werewolf out of her mind. It could probably be the that he had been drinking more than often and was hallucinating or something, which was why she put him on a sobriety plan. He’d stop getting drunk then and waking up naked in woods.

“It won’t matter,” Murphy insisted, sounding a little miffed. “I drank an entire bottle of scotch at Emori’s the other day and I didn’t even get tipsy.”

Raven blinked at that. “Maybe your tolerance improved.” But Murphy looked at her with an exasperated expression. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I want to know what’s going on, too, alright? We’ll figure out. When have we not figured it out?”

“Hey, remember when we thought Finn was acting weird because he was going to propose to you at graduation but turns out he was dating Clarke? That was definitely a moment we didn’t figure out.” 

“You know what, I hope you turn into an abominable snowman for all I care.”

Murphy laughed. “You don’t mean that. Who else would make you enchiladas when you’re on your period?”

“It’s good you know that that’s the only thing I keep you around for.”

Though Raven didn’t say or show it, she really was worried. She started obsessively looking up werewolf facts to the point where Octavia thought she was insane, and she even started watching Teen Wolf to see what it would be like if Murphy was actually transforming.

If he was, then he wasn’t showing it. Granted, Murphy rarely got angry or severely emotional, so he couldn’t accidentally wolf out. So, Raven had no choice but to wait until the full moon. 

“We’re staying at Bellamy’s apartment tonight,” Raven announced, standing in Murphy’s room with an overnight back slung over her shoulder.

“You serious?" 

“Yeah, definitely,” she said, raising her chin. “Pack extra clothes.”

Murphy chuckled. “Alright, then. No point arguing with you about this.”

They were about to leave when a blonde girl appeared in front of them, making Raven jump. “_Clarke_?”

“Hey, Raven,” she said. “Murphy.”

“Griffin.” He nodded at her. “Thought you were supposed to be in New York.”

“I was. Decided to catch a flight here to see my favorite idiots.”

Raven laughed. Once the shock had worn off, she wrapped her arms around Clarke, hugging her tightly. “I missed you! This is such a good surprise.” 

“I missed you too.”

“I suppose I don’t get a hug?” Murphy said dryly, and both girls raised their middle fingers at him. He snorted. “Typical. So, I suppose this cancels out staying at Bellamy’s?”

“No, not at all,” Raven said. “Where are you staying, Clarke?”

“This little hotel a few minutes away,” Clarke replied. “I thought we could catch up and I’d treat you both to dinner?”

“Definitely,” Murphy said, who was always down to be spoiled by Clarke. “Somewhere fancy, right?”

“I think a Taco Bell would work.”

“No, Murphy’s right,” Clarke insisted. “I haven’t seen you guys since summer.”

So, Clarke took them to some upscale restaurant and let Murphy order half the menu, flashing a bright smile and a hundred-dollar bill at the waiter so he’d get them the finest bottle of wine that Raven enjoyed even though they were underage. Once the night ended, Clarke retreated to her hotel with promises from Raven to go to brunch the next morning with Octavia, while Raven and Murphy went to Bellamy’s.

“I really don’t understand what’s going on, Raven,” Murphy said when he stopped his car in front of the building. “Why the hell would you wanna sleep here? You realize one of us is going to sleep on a couch, right?”

“Yeah, it’s gonna be you,” Raven said nonchalantly. “Now come on.”

Bellamy welcomed them inside with open arms. He showed Raven the guest room and offered Murphy to sleep on the couch, and he would’ve accepted if Raven hadn’t elbowed him in the ribs.

“No, I’m good with the couch. I need to go shower.”

Once Murphy was gone, Bellamy turned to Raven. “What’s this really about, Raven?” When Raven hesitated, he said, “Hey, you can tell me.”

Raven sighed. “Two months ago, Murphy got bitten by some animal. He said it was a wolf, but I told him there are no wolves in California. But then a month ago, on the full moon, he woke up naked in the forest behind the school. And… I think he might be a werewolf.” 

Raven expected Bellamy to burst out laughing and call her crazy. Instead, he nodded at her understandingly, slowly and thoughtfully. “Alright. So, I suppose you want to keep watch on him tonight?” 

“It’s the full moon,” Raven clarified. “And I can’t do it in either of our dorms, so this was the next option. Sorry for dragging you into this.”

“No, it’s cool.” Bellamy sounded genuine when he said this. “You’re good friends with O, and somehow we became good friends as well. I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

Raven only got the chance to smile gratefully at him because there was a loud crash from somewhere inside the house. Bellamy reacted first, dashing to the source of the sound, and Raven followed as quickly as she could.

“He’s gone,” Bellamy said, and Raven looked past him to the broken window, saw the glass shards on the floor.

“Where would he go?” Raven asked, looking around her as though the shower cabinet or the sink could give answers to Murphy’s whereabouts.

“Where did you find him last month?”

“The forest,” Raven said, and realization dawned on her. “We have to get back to campus." 

Bellamy drove fast, but not fast enough for Raven, who was gnawing on the nail of her thumb as she sat in the passenger seat. Her mind was racing with possibilities of what had happened to Murphy besides actually being a werewolf, but this wasn’t like an engineering issue she could work out in a few seconds. 

Bellamy stopped the car at the outskirts of the forest and Raven jumped out before he even killed the ignition. He would catch up with her easily anyway, what with her bum leg. 

“Murphy!” she yelled, her loud voice breaking the silence in the thicket of trees. “Murphy, are you here?” 

Bellamy approached her then, his eyes scanning their dark surroundings. “Murphy?” he called, his voice devoid of all the panic Raven was feeling. “Raven, are you sure that he could be here? Maybe he went somewhere else this time.” 

Just as Raven opened her mouth to answer, something rammed into her with great force, sending her toppling down onto the forest ground, a heavy weight above her.

“Fuck,” she heard Bellamy say, and he tried to pry whatever it was off of her, but he was sent flying backward, landing in a crumpled heap on the floor, his shirt torn where it had snagged a branch.

Raven tried to force the _thing _off of her, but it was too strong, letting out a snarl at her ear. She swallowed down her whimper, and then she looked up to see that the hairy face with golden eyes looming above her was extremely familiar.

“John?” she breathed. It was the first time in years that she’d called Murphy by his first name, ever since his mother died when they were seventeen and he broke down sobbing on her shoulder.

He growled, his eyes seeming brighter, and Raven felt panic gnawing at her chest. She tried to push him off again, yelling Bellamy’s name even though he was probably unconscious or in pain.

And then Murphy gave a fanged grin, leaning down at the level of her neck. Raven gave up on her struggle to get up, frantically feeling around her on the ground to try and find a rock to hit him with, get him unconscious, but she didn’t have to. 

Just as she felt Murphy’s teeth pierce the tender skin at her neck, he collapsed to the side, an arrow sticking out of his shoulder. Raven gave herself a moment to breathe now that he wasn’t crushing her with his weight before she got up and looked at the source of the arrow to find Clarke, dressed in all black and aiming another arrow at Murphy.

“Stop!” Raven yelled, getting in between them. “Clarke, this is Murphy.”

“I know, Raven,” Clarke said, with an eerie calm that was much like how Abby spoke to the families of dead patients. “But I can’t let that stop me.”

“Look, you have to help me get him to a hospital to get the arrow out of him before he’s seriously hurt.”

“I can’t let you do that,” Clarke said with the same detached tone. Raven finally saw how her friend who cried when she watched The Notebook or spent most of her free afternoons at puppy shelters could be a doctor, and yet there was none of that girl in front of her. It was someone cold and unfeeling, not the sort of warmth she associated with Clarke.

“What are you talking about?” Raven asked almost desperately. She didn’t want to look behind her to see Murphy’s crumpled form. Despite the claws and the glowing eyes, he was still Murphy, and she hated seeing him hurt. 

“She’s a hunter,” Bellamy’s rough voice said. Raven turned to look at him, slowly getting off the ground. He came to stand a little in front of Raven, facing Clarke with a murderous glare. “You’re here to kill him, aren’t you?” 

Raven should have guessed it first. She was the genius, after all, but her mind was just so clouded with panic and worry and adrenaline that she could barely see all the signs. But now she did, and she was furious. “Clarke, get out of my face.”

“You think that this is Murphy, but it isn’t, Raven,” Clarke insisted, lowering her bow. “Your old friend is gone, now, and all that’s left of him is this monster with his face.” 

Raven shook her head repeatedly. “Screw you, Clarke. I’m not letting you kill him.” She exchanged a look with Bellamy before she went to kneel down at Murphy’s side, looking at the arrow sticking out of him and then his face. 

His eyes were lidded, now back to their original blue, and the extra hair was gone, only the short beard he normally sported left. And yet his face was paler than normal, and that was saying something for him. She touched his forehead, and then his neck, and found his body hot, like he was feverish. 

“You laced the arrow with something,” she said loudly to Clarke, tears blurring her vision. “A poison. He was gonna die either way, right? You just had to shoot him once.”

Clarke had the nerve to look guilty. “The arrow was dipped in wolfsbane. It’s going to kill him within a few hours.”

“It’s _Murphy_!” Raven cried. He didn’t even look like a werewolf anymore, just like himself, and she wracked her brain to try and figure out a solution, but Murphy was starting to shiver, and there were purple lines around the skin of his neck, stemming right from the wound.

“You happy with this?” Bellamy demanded from Clarke. “You’ve been friends with them longer than I have, and yet you feel no remorse doing this. You feel no remorse putting Murphy in pain.” 

“I could end his pain.” 

“No. Tell me how to fix it.”

“I can’t tell you,” Clarke said. “I have to do this. It’s my duty to my family.”

Bellamy laughed mockingly. “No. This is all on you, princess.” He gave her one last glare and jogged to kneel next to Raven, placing a hand on her shoulder. 

Clarke looked at the three of them, barely making out their shadows in the dark. She could still save him. She could still save Raven the anguish of losing yet another person she loved, after her mother and Finn.

“We can’t do anything,” Raven muttered to herself. She knew enough not to pull out the arrow, that it would cause more harm than good, but other than that, she was clueless. Her lower body was aching, but she still dragged Murphy’s head onto her lap, smoothing his hair away from his sweaty forehead.

Bellamy squeezed her shoulder, not knowing what to say. He looked back at Clarke, saw her watching with a helpless gaze. Finally, when she met his eyes, she said, “I hope one of you has a car. I know where we can take him.”

* * *

“I know you,” Raven said suddenly, and the man examining Murphy’s wound looked up at her. “I’ve seen you on campus, and you’re the bartender Octavia keeps trying to flirt with.” 

“Octavia keeps trying to what?” Bellamy demanded, but Raven ignored his overprotectiveness.

“What are you?” she asked. “Werewolf, hunter—”

“Lincoln’s a healer,” Clarke said, earning herself a glare from Raven. “I don’t know how to heal supernatural injuries, but he does, and he’s very good at it.”

“But what about the thing he said about Octavia—”

“I’m the RA on your sister’s floor,” Lincoln interrupted Bellamy. “Octavia’s very enthusiastic about college. But I don’t think this is the time or place to talk about it.”

“You’re right,” Raven said, her gaze dropping to Murphy. His shirt had been cut off, so he was laying in his jeans on the long metal table, his eyes closed. Raven would think he was just sleeping if it weren’t for the arrow and the purple lines spreading on the left side of his body like spiderwebs.

Lincoln nodded at her. He slowly began extracting the arrow, and Murphy’s eyes snapped open, bright gold, and his mouth opened in a howl.

“Restrain him!” Lincoln ordered, and Bellamy and Raven surged forward, each of them pulling Murphy from a side. “Clarke, they need you too.”

It was clear Raven was distrustful of Clarke laying a hand on Murphy, but she didn’t really have a choice, seeing as he was too strong for just two ordinary humans. Even with Clarke, it was a struggle to keep him down.

Lincoln had to work with a thrashing Murphy, trying to wriggle free from the hold on him, until the arrow was out of his skin. But then Lincoln brought a flaming torch to Murphy’s shoulder, and Raven let go of him to try and get the fire away from him. “What the hell are you _doing_?”

“He isn’t a vampire, Raven, the fire’s not going to hurt him,” Clarke explained. “It’s going to burn the wolfsbane out. Come hold him down.”

With a glare directed at Clarke, Raven did as she was told just as Lincoln brought the fire to Murphy’s skin and the latter let out another roar, this one louder and more pained. Raven gritted her teeth, restraining Murphy as well as she could, deciding that she was going to kill Clarke as soon as this was over. 

* * *

Murphy woke up on a hard surface, his eyes burning from the bright fluorescent lights. He was feeling strangely sluggish, and cold, though that was probably because he was laying shirtless on a metal table. 

He took in his surroundings, slowly turning his head. He was in some sort of clinic, seeing as there were shelves lined with glass bottles and an array of medical tools. There was a chair against the wall, where Bellamy was sitting, dozing with his head on his hand, and another chair next to him.

Raven was on that chair, her head resting against the cool metal. Her fingers were brushing his, which made him think that she fell asleep holding his hand. He felt a rush of affection for her, at least until he remembered that he tried to kill her the night before.

He pulled his hand away, and that seemed to wake up Raven. She slowly sat up, blinking rapidly at the lights, and when she saw that Murphy was awake, a smile that made his heart hurt spread across her face.

“You’re awake.”

“Unfortunately.”

“You can’t joke like that until the next full moon at least,” Raven said lightly. “You almost died on us." 

“Who shot me?”

Raven nibbled at her bottom lip before answering. “Clarke.” 

“So that’s why she came to California.” Murphy scoffed. “She figured out what I am and wanted to kill me.”

“That’s not going to happen again,” she insisted. “Clarke went back to California this morning. She says sorry, but I don’t know how much that’s worth.”

“Probably not much.” He sat up, running a hand through his short hair. “Who fixed me up?” 

“Lincoln,” Raven answered. “The RA on my floor. The one Octavia’s half in love with.” 

“Seriously?” Bellamy’s voice grumbled. He got up from his chair and moved to stand beside Raven. “How are you feeling?”

“Like my arm’s going to fall off,” Murphy replied easily. “You?”

“Weirded out,” Bellamy said. “You’re a werewolf.”

“Told you so.” Murphy closed his eyes, exhaustion seeping on his face. Raven reached out to brush his hair back, away from his forehead. Bellamy watched her for a few silent moments, noting the tender expression on her face, and the corner of his lips quirked up.

“It’s okay. We’ll figure it out,” Raven said. Her hand was now at Murphy’s cheek, and he reached up to grasp it with his own without opening his eyes. Bellamy said something about using the toilet before he slipped out of the room.

* * *

Murphy knew how to cut ties with people. There was a reason he was only friends with Raven, Bellamy, and Octavia (and previously Clarke and now Lincoln). It wasn’t just because of his asshole personality. It was because he didn’t want anyone else.

And now with the whole being a supernatural creature thing, he had to let most of that handful go. Not Lincoln, mostly because he was the only healer Murphy knew but also because he could handle a werewolf. Definitely not Bellamy. 

The first tie he cut was Emori, offering no explanation besides “It’s just not working out anymore.” His (now ex) girlfriend had slapped him and then kicked him out of her apartment.

It wasn’t easy. Emori was the first serious relationship he had, the first girl that went beyond a hookup, and the first girl he actually cared about, and letting her go had been painful. But Murphy was sure that the pain he felt would be nothing compared to what he’d feel if he ended up accidentally hurting her.

Like what he’d done to Raven.

Thinking about Raven hurt, so he resolved to stop doing it. Seeing her was even worse, so he stopped doing that, too. Or he tried to, at least. Until she cornered him behind the building after classes were over, her eyes blazing with determination.

“Haven’t seen you in a while,” she said. “A month. Maybe two.” 

“I’ve been busy,” he said, pressing back into the brick wall behind him. He could smell her perfume, a lavender scented-one, and he was getting better at smelling people’s pheromones. 

And Raven was sad. Angry. Hurt. And something else that was muddled to Murphy, a scent he couldn’t catch, so he put it down to Octavia’s smell that lingered on her.

He tried to ignore the fact that he missed her. 

“No, you haven’t. I know when you’re lying, and I know what you’re doing right now.” Raven’s steely determination deflated just the slightest bit. “You’re avoiding me.”

The tone of her voice made Murphy’s resolve break, made him reach out to her and grip her hand. “Of course not, Rave. I’d never—”

“Stop,” she said, pulling her hand back. “You’re avoiding us all. You left Emori, and you left me, and it’s all because you’re scared to hurt us when you wolf out.”

Murphy’s throat became dry. “That’s not true.” 

Raven stared at him with a challenging expression, as though daring him to repeat what he just said. “We both know it is.”

“Raven,” he whispered, and his voice cracked when he said her name. “I can’t hurt you. I can’t let anything happen to you, Rave. I hurt you before and—” 

Relief coursed through him when she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around his neck. He didn’t hesitate to hug her back, burying his face in her hair. It was like he’d been drowning and suddenly she pulled him out.

“We’ll figure it out,” Raven insisted, her voice bordering on desperate. “It’s you and me. We always figure it out. Just please don’t leave me.”

He hugged her tighter then, deciding that he’d rather die than go through his life without her by his side.

* * *

They were in his dorm for a change, empty since his roommate liked to study in the library. Murphy was sitting on the bed, against the wall, and Raven was against the headboard, her legs sprawled on Murphy’s lap.

“I have bursts of anger. Irrational anger, most of the time. It’s like I can’t control it anymore, and I feel my claws digging into my hands and my teeth in my cheek and I’m just one step away from growing the hair on my face. I’m not in control of my actions when these happen.” 

“I know what you should do.” 

“What?”

“You need to find an anchor,” Raven said. Murphy’s movements on her bad knee stopped for a second as he turned to stare at her like she grew a second head. “Someone to keep you tied down to the human part of yourself so that you don’t wolf out.”

“Where did you get _that _from?”

“Teen Wolf,” she replied breezily. “Look, tonight’s a full moon—”

“No.”

“Murphy, you didn’t even let me finish,” Raven whined.

“I know what you want,” Murphy said, trying his best to keep calm _Raven was right next to him he shouldn’t hurt her it’s Raven Raven Raven and still his eyes burned and they were probably turning gold—_

“Bellamy will come with us,” Raven insisted, and Murphy’s gaze suddenly shifted into focus again. “And Lincoln. They’ll both be there and I’ll be safe.” 

“Raven,” Murphy sighed, though it was just for the theatrics because he knew she was getting her way.

* * *

She did. That night, just as the moon was about to rise, they stood in a clearing in the forest. Raven was wearing Murphy’s Arkadia U sweatshirt, her hands buried in the pockets as she anxiously stood next to Bellamy and Lincoln, away from Murphy who was staring up at the sky. 

“Do you think this will work?” she whispered.

“We’ll have to see,” Lincoln replied calmly, and Raven wanted to punch him for being so collected when she was freaking out and ready to fall apart. She immediately felt guilty after thinking that.

Murphy always felt the first sign of his transformation when his eyes began to burn, which meant that they were no longer blue, rather a blazing gold. When that started, he tried to _anchor _himself or whatever bullshit it was, and he immediately thought of Emori.

She was his first love, his only love, she should be his anchor. He remembered her laugh and her eyes and how she looked at him when she was drunk out of her mind and still his claws dug into his palm and drew blood, so he switched to Bellamy’s kind smile and unwavering goodness but it felt like his humanity was gone and all that was left was the wolf. He tried Octavia with no result, then Clarke who actually made him angrier, until he could hear a voice saying, “Find an anchor.”

And he heard the voice calling his name. Murphy dropped to his knees, looking up at the damned moon that had managed to wreck his life. It hurt. Everywhere _hurt_, and he wanted to hurt in return so he wasn’t the only one in pain.

“I know you can do it,” the voice said, and Murphy clenched his fists so tight they were shaking. He closed his eyes, and yet they burned with images, a kaleidoscope of one person. Raven. 

Raven when he first saw her, a fifteen-year-old freshman who took no shit even then. He saw her fist right before she broke his nose. Raven when she taunted him at their lockers, smiling teasingly so he knew it was all in good fun. Raven squeezing his hand after he punched the bastard who dared think she was anything less than perfect all because of her brace.

Raven covered in grease, working in Sinclair’s garage with her hair in a haphazard ponytail. Raven at sixteen, showing up at his broken-down house with puffy eyes because she saw Finn kissing this beautiful blonde girl. Raven at seventeen, not once letting go of his hand during his mother’s funeral, sleeping next to him for a week just so she could soothe his crying and nightmares. Raven at eighteen, hugging him first after their graduation ceremony because they were all they had left to each other.

Raven when they first arrived at Arkadia University, her smile brighter than he’d seen in years. Raven studying on one side of the dorm room bed while he lounged on the other side. Raven at Grounders. Raven next to him on the surgical table at Lincoln’s clinic, tenderly pushing his hair back. Raven pleading him not to leave her. 

And Raven now, standing just a little away, closer than she should be considering he was a werewolf during the full moon and he could hurt her. But she was holding out her hand to him, her expression entirely trusting.

He was surprised to see that when he reached out to grasp her hand, his fingers were normal, no claws in sight. And then he realized that his eyes didn’t burn, and there was nothing digging into the inside of his cheek. 

And Raven was smiling at him, proud and relieved. “I knew you could do it.” Murphy was saved from replying when Bellamy and Lincoln approached them.

“You won’t try to kill us again, will you?” Bellamy asked teasingly, earning himself an unimpressed look from both Raven and Murphy. “What did you do to stop it?”

“He found an anchor,” Lincoln guessed. He nodded approvingly. “Good job. It doesn’t always work. You must have a strong tether to the person you chose. Who was it?”

Here’s the thing: Murphy always knew he was in love with Raven. For years, now. He must be a masochist or something, because he was a sucker for her ever since they first met, i.e. when she hit him.

But he wasn’t an idiot. He was smart enough to know that she was out of his league, which was why he never said anything, never acted on his feelings. Also why he said to Lincoln, “Emori. The only girl I’ve ever loved.”

* * *

Murphy began to forgive Clarke after she took him out to three different expensive restaurants. It wasn’t completely water under the bridge, seeing as she tried to kill him, but it was a start. 

“I can’t believe you’re even talking to her again,” Raven huffed. She sat down next to him on the bed and leaned closer to him to see what he was doing on his laptop, not noticing the way he stiffened at her proximity. “Are you looking for an apartment?” 

“I figured that accidentally killing my roommate on a full moon will be a little difficult to explain to administration,” Murphy replied. He turned to see Raven pouting. “What?”

“You’ll be far away,” she said reluctantly. “I won’t be able to see you as much.” 

“Of course, you will,” he insisted. “Look, if you’re that scared of not seeing me all the time, then move in with me. I definitely won’t be able to afford rent on my own anyway.”

But Raven only shook her head, looking dejected. “I was thinking about what you said the other night, about Emori being your anchor.” 

Murphy’s breath hitched, but Raven didn’t notice. 

“I think you should get back together with her.”

Murphy scrambled to think of a plausible reason as to why he didn’t want to date the girl who was supposed to be his anchor and couldn’t come up with anything that could fool Raven, so he just said, “No.”

Raven gave an exasperated sigh. “Come on, Murphy. Emori loves you.” 

“I thought you said she only loved my ass.”

“That was before.”

“She’s never gonna take me back,” Murphy blurted out. He felt that it was a good excuse, but it didn’t stop Raven.

“Just explain it to her,” Raven insisted. “Tell her why—” 

A knock came at the door then. Trying to disguise his relief that the conversation was cut short, Murphy moved his laptop onto Raven’s lap and got up to answer the door. Clarke was standing on the other side, dressed in a fancy dress with her face made up.

“I’m taking you both out,” she said.

“We have plans with Bellamy,” Raven snapped from behind Murphy. 

“He can come too,” Clarke said. 

Murphy glanced back at Raven’s miffed expression. “Honestly, sounds good to me. Let me just shower quickly.” 

When Murphy disappeared into the bathroom, Raven turned her glare to Clarke. “What guarantees that you aren’t just earning Murphy’s trust back so you can try to kill him again?”

“I won’t hurt you,” Clarke said simply. “I saw how you were when you thought Murphy was going to die. It reminded me of when I found out Finn had been double-timing.” 

“Those are two different things,” Raven seethed. “I can’t believe you’re comparing Murphy almost dying to Finn cheating on me.” 

“You’re right, they’re different. But both times, you were hurt because of me.” Clarke hesitantly moved to sit next to Raven on the bed, taking her hand. “Murphy might be your best friend, but you are mine. I’ll always pick you first.” 

Raven blamed the tears in her eyes on the fact that she was overemotional due to her period. “I can have two best friends.” She pulled Clarke into a hug, both of them gripping each other tightly. When they pulled apart, Raven said, softly, “Please don’t hurt him. He’s all I have.” 

“You love him,” Clarke said, and it wasn’t a question, it was an observation. Raven didn’t say anything, picking at a loose thread in her ripped shorts.

“It’s whatever,” she muttered at last.

“No,” Clarke said sympathetically, just as Murphy stepped out of the bathroom, toweling his hair. “It isn’t.”

* * *

Bellamy is the only one who seems to be holding a grudge against Clarke, though Raven doesn’t think it has anything to do with Murphy anymore. It was probably the fact that they were both stubborn spitfires, that Clarke was rich and Bellamy hated privileged people on principle, and that they had the hots for each other and had no idea how else to act.

Bellamy called Clarke “princess” sarcastically twenty times, and they spent at least half an hour arguing about the pronunciation of the world caramel while Murphy played Angry Birds on his phone.

“This is great,” Raven grumbled.

“They’ll probably end up fucking it out by the end of the night.”

“Are we supposed to stay here and watch their foreplay, then?”

Murphy looked up at Bellamy and Clarke who were practically nose to nose by now. “You know what? I’m craving a burger. Let’s go to McDonald’s.”

* * *

Clarke and Bellamy screwed on Bellamy’s couch, and Murphy announced at the top of his lungs that he was never going to sit anywhere in Bellamy’s living room ever again, especially after Clarke decided to make the move from New York to California for their third year of college.

“You have your own apartment,” Bellamy would say, “you don’t need to step foot in mine.”

Murphy did find an apartment, a two-bedroom ten minutes away from campus. He didn’t even ask Raven to move in with him again, just helped her pack her dorm (much to Octavia’s dismay) and then decorate her new room.

Now that Murphy was a werewolf, alcohol didn’t affect him because of his super-fast healing, so that left Raven to get drunk on their couch all alone. 

“How come Emori’s your anchor?” she asked him, frowning in confusion. “You’ve known her what. Two years. Lincoln said it should be a super strong emotional connection. How come you’re so connected to your _ex_?”

Murphy didn’t know how to respond, so he just gave an intelligible mumble.

“When I told you to find an anchor,” Raven continued, “I didn’t mean Emori, even though she’s really awesome and really hot. I meant _me_.”

Murphy’s eyes widened, and he silently turned to look at Raven. It took him a few moments to speak. “Why?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I thought it was,” she said. More like grumbled. “I really wanted you to love me back.”

“Of—of course I love you, Rave.”

“You’re not getting it!” she cried, and Murphy was horrified to see tears brimming in her eyes. “Every time I look at you, all I want to do is hold your hand and run my hands through your hair and kiss you.”

Murphy swallowed. It should be a relief, to hear that Raven felt the same way he did about her, but it felt like a disaster. All he’d do is hurt her, which was why he said, “I’m sorry, Raven.”

“Whatever,” Raven huffed and stood up, teetering on her feet. Murphy immediately reached out to steady her.

“Let me help you to your room.”

“You don’t have to.”

Murphy ignored her and wrapped her arm around his shoulders. His heart clenched when she sniffled, but he knew it was for the best. Raven deserved someone better, someone who didn’t turn into a wolf whenever he got moderately angry. And she’d find that someone, and Murphy would be left behind in the dust. 

“Why don’t you love me?” Raven asked when Murphy was pulling up the bed covers to her chin. His movements faltered.

“I do,” he whispered. 

“Not enough,” she said, and then she drifted off to sleep.

Murphy woke up the next day to find Raven sitting at the kitchen table (in his ArkU sweatshirt) with a bowl of her favorite cereal in front of her. As soon as he opened his mouth to speak, she held up a hand without looking at him and said, “Don’t.” 

So he didn’t. He made himself a cup of coffee and sat in front of her, and they had breakfast in silence. He drove them to campus and Raven got out of his car after muttering a “Thanks.”

It continued like that for a week full of awkward and tense silences. Murphy hated it, hated that it was his fault this was happening, and yet he could do nothing to stop it. 

He couldn’t force Raven to stop loving him, and he couldn’t tell her he loved her.

And then she came to him one night when he was watching some crappy Netflix movie in their living room, and she said, “I’m moving out.”

“What?” 

“I can go back to my old dorm with Octavia,” she continued monotonously. “So I’m moving out.”

Murphy clicked the TV off and stood to face her. “I don’t… Why?”

“What do you mean, why?” Raven demanded. “I’ve been in love with you for three years. I don’t see myself getting over you any time soon if we live together.”

“You’re right,” Murphy finally said, clenching his fists behind his back to hide the fact that his claws were digging into his palms and he was bleeding. “I’ll help you pack.”

“You don’t have to,” she insisted. “I’ll be gone by the end of the week.”

* * *

Murphy still liked going to Grounders, even though he couldn’t get drunk and he had to see Emori kissing her new girlfriend behind the bar. However, Bellamy seemed to see it as an opportunity to interrogate him. 

“I heard that Raven’s moving out.”

“Who told you, your sister or your girlfriend?”

“Clarke’s not my girlfriend,” Bellamy said, making Murphy let out an ungraceful snort.

“Whatever.” And then, after a beat, he said, “She’s in love with me.” 

“Stop saying it like it’s the worst thing in the world.”

“It is,” Murphy said, downing a shot. “I’m a fucking _werewolf_.”

“And she still loves you.” 

“You sound like a dad.”

Bellamy gave him an unimpressed look. “Don’t try to change the subject. What’s your plan, Murphy? Stay single forever because you might accidentally bite your girlfriend?” 

“Pretty much, yeah.” 

“What if Raven decides she never wants to speak to you again?”

Murphy felt his throat close up when he swallowed. “It’s what she wants.” 

“What she wants,” Bellamy said, sounding exasperated, “is you. Werewolf or not, she’s loves you. Just as much as you love her.” 

“I don’t—" 

“Spare me the crap, Murphy,” Bellamy said. “I knew you loved her since the second time I saw you both.”

Murphy stared at the wooden table in front of him. Then he glanced behind the bar, where Emori was chatting with Echo, who leaned in to press a quick kiss to her girlfriend’s lips. He turned back to Bellamy, who was watching him with raised brows.

“I’ll pay you back for the drinks,” Murphy said as he stood, grabbing his phone and car keys, Bellamy’s laughter ringing behind him. He drove like a madman, trying to reach the apartment before he lost his nerve, or worse, before Raven was gone. 

He almost forgot to lock his car behind him in his haste to get into the apartment. Thankfully, when he called Raven’s name, her voice responded from her room.

“I lied,” he blurted out. Raven turned from her suitcase to face him, her face morphed into a confused expression.

“What are you talking about?”

“When Lincoln asked me who my anchor is,” he clarified, his heart beating so erratically he wondered if Raven could hear it. “I lied. I said it was Emori. But it wasn’t. I tried to think of her, but it didn’t help.”

Raven took a step closer to him. “Who is it then?” 

“It’s you,” Murphy said softly. “I heard your voice that night, and suddenly it was like every single memory of you I have just flashed in front of my eyes, and I was just… human again. Because of you.” He was directly in front of her now, and she was looking up at him with an indecipherable expression on her face. “You’re my anchor, Rave.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Raven whispered. “That we have an emotional bond?”

“It means that I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you for six years.”

“You love me?”

“Like crazy.” 

“Then why did you let me think you don’t?”

“You really want to be with a werewolf?” 

“It’s not up to you to decide, Murphy,” Raven said, crossing her arms. “I know what I’m getting into. And I know that you could hurt me, but I’m willing to take the risk. Because it’s you.” Raven glanced down at his lips for a split second. “You’re a little pathetic though.”

“What? Why?”

“You’ve loved me for almost twice as long as I've loved you. Six years,” she said, a grin spreading on her face. “That means you loved me when we were fifteen. When I punched you for being a jackass.”

Murphy rolled his eyes, though he was grinning as well. He held her waist and pulled her forwards and leaned down so that their foreheads were touching. “I’m gonna kiss you now. Is that okay?" 

Raven didn’t answer, surging forwards, wrapping her arms around his neck. Their lips touching felt like home, and when Raven pulled back to tell him that his breath smelled like tequila, Murphy laughed and pulled her back to kiss her again, smiling against her lips. And he finally recognized that pheromone he smelled on her all those months ago before he found an anchor, the one he couldn't put down.

She loved him, as desperately as he loved her.

**Author's Note:**

> give me canon murven in season 7 i beg you


End file.
